tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36672436469000646312024-03-13T06:41:46.141+05:30A dash of sindoor...Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-89053459201666888362010-04-02T18:29:00.005+05:302010-04-02T19:35:33.476+05:30Life, love, and karma<span style="font-family:arial;">Popular notion and idea of karma is </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="font-family:arial;">similar</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> to the age old </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-family:arial;">adage</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> of 'you sow what you reap.' Your deeds in this life dictate your future lives. But my latest introspection leads me to believe that karma is about the present. It is about the now -- this life. Not a past life, not a future life either.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Growing up, the questions of life and death often plagued me. If I had been the kind of person who believed in the concepts of heaven and hell, the afterlife, or the next life, my life would have been a breeze. But I believed that there could be a possibility of nothing. Our life, this life, is the one that we have. And it is the only one that we have. Once we die, we are nothing. There is no more mind, no more heart, and no more soul. Or there might be a soul that gets merged with the one big soul (or universal energy, if you shall). </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The belief of heaven and hell and the next life was a method to force righteous behaviour in people. Kill another human being, go to hell. Save a life, go to heaven. Speak the truth, +1 points on your karma board. But really, is life that simple?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I look back on my life and see so many phases. Each new phase marks the rebirth of my soul. It is transient... always changing, evolving. My karma dictates what my tomorrow will be in my current life. I have been reaping what I have sowed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">As a child, I would look to fulfill the dark abyss chasing me like a nagging shadow. I would search for love in unwanted and scary places. I would ache and hurt, but bounce back with the faith that I would find this love I was searching for. To be honest here, I broke many a heart while I was on this quest. I even broke my husband's heart in the bargain. Fortunately for me, I had sense enough to bounce back and </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" style="font-family:arial;">unbreak</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> his heart too!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">So can you imagine what kind of karma I was accumulating breaking all these hearts? It was pretty damn bad! Talk about bitter pay backs! I had my toughest relationship in college, my worst heart break in the years following college, and an uneven and uneasy ride with my now husband. What karma! All different phases of life, all teaching me new things, all of them making me understand that you can't fuck with life!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">To my advantage, I tend to be a black and white sort of person. I can count the number of times I've lied on my two hands (the lies that count!) Not to say that I am proud of these lies by any means... but the number of times I've told the truth, or lent a helping hand, or even been a pillar of strength have worked in my favour. I have a great husband, a family that cares very much for me, and a dog that I couldn't imagine life without. (I'll have to go remove </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" style="font-family:arial;">nazar</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> now by burning some dried red chillies! </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" style="font-family:arial;">Nazar</span><span style="font-family:arial;">: evil eye). Good karma!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">In the circle of life, you do reap what you sow. But in THIS life. Introspect on your life, and you'll see what I mean.</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-69492151460355585482010-01-09T10:44:00.001+05:302010-01-09T10:44:59.911+05:30Rewind, Rewind!<span style="font-family: arial;">Taking a trip down memory lane can evoke so many emotions. Passion, fear, sadness, disappointment, joy, confidence... the nostalgia reminiscent of moments past.</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">What makes fleeting seconds stick in our minds long after they pass? The scent that is so distinctly clear, the music playing in the background, the cold against your skin... you remember it all. But why? What makes this memory special?</span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">I could write anthologies on all the memories that never fail to cross my mind, every single day. The memories of my husband before we were nothing more than friends. I would say those are the sweetest memories I have of us. Sweeter than our wedding or even our life after. </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Many years ago, when I was around 16 years old, I was visiting my cousin over summer break. I woke up one night to find her holding her knees to her chest and crying... She said to me, "Never fall in love with your best friend." I did not understand the magnitude of what she was saying then. Why would I NOT want to fall in love with my best friend? It was the most logical thing to do... And that is exactly what I did. I fell in love with my best friend. But with that love and the expectations that follow in any relationship, our relationship changed. It stopped being simple. Expectations complicate things. Expectations every one around you has for you; leave alone the expectations you have of each other. And the disappointment (fear?) of those expectations not being fulfilled. When we were getting married, a friend told us that the first thing to remember in marriage is to have no expectations. The more expectations you have, the more likely it is that you feel let down. So true! But is this what complicates relationships? When we were just friends, we had fights, but they were so simple. Easy to resolve, easy to let go of. Why does this change after marriage? I'd like to understand. </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">For this precise reason, it is important that the relationship evolving into marriage is strong to withstand all the nonsense that societal and individual guidelines constrain us to. '</span><span style="font-family: arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Coz</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> with marriage come familiarity, comfort, support. And also come expectations, rules, regulations, nuances of daily life... The magic and sparks seldom coexist with marriage. A reality that is hard to escape and harder to accept. </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">An alternative thought would be that THIS comfort is what is most sought after... ask those in unreliable, noncommittal relationships. Who knows if you will be together tomorrow? Who knows if you will have someone to go home to after a long day? Those are the small yet pleasurable things about marriage. It is sort of like a trade off really... You trade the magic and curiosity for the comfort and familiarity. The X factor disappears. I don't think they can coexist. </span><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">Would you disagree? Do tell me...</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-60437627748980767532009-12-21T23:28:00.004+05:302009-12-22T09:27:07.974+05:30Oh, Hell No!<span style="font-family:arial;">How many times have you wanted to say this? </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">You are newly married... you have some unnecessary words thrown at you and all you want to do is yell, "oh, hell no!" but you don't! Forcefully shutting it in as a means to subside tempers and create harmony. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">- Wedding day frenzy. You: "It is my wedding too! And I do not want to dress in that." Mom: "It is the tradition. You HAVE to. Make your in-laws happy." You: "Oh, hell no!"</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">- M-i-l: "I could have found someone better for my son." You: "Oh, hell no!"</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">- Aunt (of yours): "You should do everything because you are the girl." You: "Oh, hell no!"</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">- Uncle (of your spouse, 4 days after your wedding): "The next time you visit, it must be with a baby BOY. That is my blessing." You: "Oh, HELL NO!"</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">- Society talks. Relative: "You shouldn't let your husband help with the laundry. People talk." You: "Oh, HELL NO!"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Hell no... Does staying quiet show signs of being a push over? Or in marriage, does that make you smart? I have been told there are better ways to handle these things. Not by creating a ruckus, nor by pretending it never happened. Instead, by using diplomacy for the common good. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">For example... Aunt: "You should do everything because you are the girl." You: "I know I will have to put in a lot of effort. But I definitely cannot succeed without my husband's help."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Wow! The diplomacy of the entire statement. Not only are you AGREEING with your aunt, you make it seem like your husband's help is pivotal in marriage (which it is). Marriage is, unfortunately, a game. A game where survival is of the fittest. You have to be strong mentally and emotionally. To be worn down can be a task so easy and achievable that you will not see it hit you. But to walk the path of marriage, no matter how arduous, and to make it work, requires the ability to be tolerant and treasure words like they are your best friend.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"Words are like a dagger. Use them well." Master the game, and you are sure to find marital gratification.</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-75479501076810556072009-12-19T13:33:00.005+05:302009-12-19T14:00:51.587+05:30My love...<div style="text-align: right;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> 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mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">If one were to describe the reason for my love</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oh, the bereft voice would lead to clear demise,
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Nonexistent, inarticulate, muffled</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Like the garden of Eden and the elixir of life.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">If one were to describe the reason for my love</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oh, how these emotions would obscure judgment,
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Murky, blindfolded, nebulous
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Like the depths of the Earth and the deafening night.
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">If one were to describe the reason for my love</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Oh, hear the resonance of worship in my voice,</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Poignant, vibrant, exuberant</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Like the echo of the temple bells </span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" 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style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Ever so unconditional,</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Ever so empowered,</span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Never fearing, never faltering,</span></p><p face="arial" style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">My love enraptures me, body and soul.
<br /></span></p><p></p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-59628588533517240652009-12-08T22:30:00.005+05:302009-12-08T22:55:21.894+05:30Compromise... do we have to?<span style="font-family:arial;">Compromise. Can any relationship be devoid of compromise? Rather... any healthy relationship? Absolutely not. It is sort of like Dr. Phil's take on "what you give better, you get better." Many people tend to shy away from marriage because of how much compromise it involves. But <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Javed</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Akhtar</span>, the famous Indian <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">lyricist</span>, has said that compromise is not a bad thing if both people make the "happy" compromise. Step one is to accept that compromise is not an option, it is a necessity. When we can have differences with our parents, the people who have raised us, it is but natural that we have differences with our spouse. Different family backgrounds, upbringing, education, personality... They add so much spice to the mix that something is needed to neutralize it. If your wife complains too much about you leaving your socks everywhere and it absolutely drives you up the wall... or if your husband leaves his socks everywhere and it absolutely drives you up the wall... Same problem becoming an annoyance to both. Either the wife stops complaining or the husband stops littering with socks. Compromise. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The willingness to compromise isn't a trait you develop over night. It is something that becomes are part of your every day approach to life over time. You start to see that compromise will only make your life easier. This is not to say that you should compromise on your ideals or goals. On the contrary! The compromise here would be for the two individuals involved to agree to disagree and move on with their lives. Agree to disagree! Over a course of 40 or 50 years, imagine how much easier your life will be if you just agree to disagree. Compromise!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Barack Obama has said, "</span><span class="body" style="font-family:arial;">A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'</span><span style="font-family:arial;">" You know when your compromise is worthwhile. And a worthwhile compromise, especially in marriage, never fails you. Whether it is appreciated by those around your or not, you are doing yourself a favour my comprising. It is sort of like water proofing your home. You know it may rain, it may pour even, but just so long as you have this safety net that assures your safety, you know you'll be just fine. That is exactly the security that being able to compromise 'happily' provides you...<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">It works, it makes sense!</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-80385584399182166032009-12-04T15:35:00.005+05:302009-12-23T22:14:56.279+05:30Dr. Phil Part II<span style="font-family:arial;">"You get what you give. When you give better, you get better.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Give better to get better? What? I must say that Dr. Phil is WAY off on this one. Call me </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="font-family:arial;">pessimistic</span><span style="font-family:arial;">, but some people just aren't nice. They don't care how much you give, they just want more! And reciprocation? That word does not even exist in their vocabulary! For example, in-law's. When is it ever enough for them? You are never good enough for their son, your mistakes are never forgiven, you never make enough of an effort... never never never! If there was ever a conditional relationship, it would be defined by as the one between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. A daughter-in-law can give and keep giving, but will she ever win her mother-in-law's complete and undying approval? Highly unlikely. You can keep giving better, You can give BEST, but it will always fall short. Reciprocation will only be a result of some miracle or fleeting moment of affection. But, to Dr Phil's credit, I think the point he is trying to make here is that regardless of what we get, we should give. And if we give better (with no expectations, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-family:arial;">preferably</span><span style="font-family:arial;">), we just might be surprised! Let us hope Dr. Phil is right on this. It isn't any fun to keep giving and not getting anything in return, is it?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />Win/lose situation. Now this can be somewhat probable. I have been reading a great deal about the power of willing lately. I stumbled up on this first when I was skimming through "The Secret". And now again in Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol". The best way to approach is your marriage is with the intention that you will make it work. If you look at your marriage as being doomed, then it is! No matter how much of a pessimist or even a realist you are, looking at marriage with an optimistic outlook is the key to its success. When you got married, when you took your vows, you did so with the intention of making it work for life! So why then over the course of the years do we lose sight of this promise we make to ourselves and to our spouse? Very good point!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">No marriage is perfect. Far from it! But butting marriage against a do or die type of situation would only lead to further demise, wouldn't you say? Forget the win/lose and lose/lose situation. Forget even the win/win situation. It isn't about how well the marriage works, the point is that it works! When you look at it through this perspective, the beauty lies in the simplicity of just wanting to make your marriage work. Period. And that will teach you to give better without any expectation of getting better. See! It is a vicious circle and it does work. Or at least that's what I've convinced myself. But the real question here is, have I convinced you?</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-33202511164971239912009-11-28T12:56:00.006+05:302009-12-04T13:10:26.448+05:30Freedom<meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDeez%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> 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mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Endless blue skies on the horizon</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Meadows frolicking with chrysanthemums </span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Crackling twigs of dried eucalyptus </span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Warmth of the heated ground underneath</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Dew drops tickling the jaded grass
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Bicycle imprinted, sienna smeared sidewalks
<br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Blue and white and red stripped blanket</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Panacotta and truffles to titivate your basket</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Sweating bottles of </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Gewürz<b> </b></span><span style="font-size:100%;">to celebrate</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;">
<br /></div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Sunlit strands of shimmering bronze locks</span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Hands that intertwine with exhilaration</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Eyes gallantly shut to rhythmic tunes</span></p><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Breathing that's laboured from liberation
<br /></span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">The music raising your soul</span></p><div style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Praise be to freedom, the one you love most.</span></p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-85269039213112028322009-11-26T22:17:00.011+05:302009-11-27T18:28:59.167+05:30Good advice?<span style="font-family:arial;">Dr. Phil's show is legendary on day time television in the US. His advice on relationships, marriage, and other life issues seems to make a ton of difference to some people. So, I figured that you and I should also get a little peek into what makes this man's advice worth listening to. Being left behind in the dust isn't going to help us any, now is it? :) </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0); font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >A Good Marriage</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">"After being happily married for 32 years, Dr. Phil shares some of his thoughts about what makes a marriage work.</span><br /><ul style="font-family: arial;"><li>The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.<br /><br /></li><li>You get what you give. When you give better, you get better.<br /><br /></li><li>If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation.<br /><br /></li><li>Forget whether you're right or wrong. The question is: Is what you're doing working or not working?<br /><br /></li><li>There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing.<br /><br /></li><li>Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. Embrace the change and know that it takes work.<br /><br /></li><li>You don't fix things by fixing your partner.<br /><br /></li><li>Intimacy is so important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world.<br /><br /></li><li>You don't necessarily solve problems. You learn how to manage them.<br /><br /></li><li>Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder.<br /><br /></li><li>You teach people how to treat you. You can renegotiate the rules."</li></ul><span style="font-family:arial;">I have read and re-read all of the points that Dr. Phil makes. And I have decided to spend the next few days dissecting each one. If I should find that it could make a difference to my marriage, I intend to incorporate it into my actions. It never hurts to try, does it? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">To start with: </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1) "The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I can see this being relevant to my marriage. After all, my husband and I fell in love and decided that this was "it" for us. We were the best of friends who could confide in each other about nearly anything. So naturally, marriage seemed like the next best step forward for our relationship. But how about those who have an arranged marriage? There is no time for the couple to build a friendship, forget a solid one. I have known of cases where the bride and groom do not see each other until they are on the altar on the brinks of saying good-bye to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">single life</span>. Are these marriages doomed? Unlikely... Such couples probably have it harder at the start of the marriage, but like all marriages, with time, a bond forms between the two individuals. If we take into consideration the second point where it is clearly stated that marriage needs to meet the needs of both people in the marriage, we see that whether it is a love marriage or arranged becomes a moot point. People fall in love, they get married, they change after marriage, they bicker, they realize that they are not getting what they wanted out marriage, and they separate. In the case of an arranged marriage, you learn to marry with no expectations. You do not know the person you are marrying, what your life will be like with them, or how much you will have to change to live with this new person. Regardless, after a few months or years into the arranged marriage, you realize that you are not getting what you need from your spouse, that it is a waste of energy, and you separate. Doesn't really matter if the marriage was of love or arranged, does it? It simply <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">matters</span> whether each partners' needs are being fulfilled or not. So yes, a strong friendship is the foundation for the success of any happy marriage. To be able to confide, trust, and put faith in your spouse is best support system any one could ask for. And if in the process, your needs are being met AND you are also able to fulfill your spouse's needs, you are one step closer to attaining a content marriage. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Until next time, think about what Dr. Phil has said and if it could apply to you. To any relationship in your life. Be it with your mother or father, your brother or sister, a girl friend or a boy friend, or even just a friend. At the core of every relationship, a solid friendship and mutual fulfillment of needs seems to be the key. Wouldn't you agree? Think about it! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" >Information from: </span><a style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/53">A good marriage</a></span><br /></span></span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-9322454941985524052009-11-24T19:08:00.004+05:302009-11-28T13:00:25.954+05:30Tick tock!<span style="font-family:arial;">I have no idea what this post is going to be about. I just feel like writing. And since I promised to write about marriage, that is exactly what I shall do!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Marriage is full of surprises. You know that famous quote in Forrest </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="font-family:arial;">Gump</span><span style="font-family:arial;">? "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Marriage is also like a box of chocolates. It ain't ever too easy, ain't ever too hard, and it kicks you up and teaches you lessons you never knew existed. I am a little peaceful right now. With my husband, my life, and my choices. But that is the thing about marriage. If makes you feel fantastic one second, and in the dumps the very next.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Well... on second thought! Is that the fault of marriage? or is that our fault? Our inability to look beyond the bullshit (please excuse the language!). My husband always asks me to look beyond all the mundane nonsense, the stuff you can afford to ignore. I could learn a thing or two from him. He is quite an impeccable man. With a clear and unfaltering vision, he lives his life one day to the next. In his world, limited bullshit = limited drama = limited harassment. Unfortunately, this worked for him until he got married. See, that's the thing about marriage! No matter how perfect you are, your better (or worse) half can make things that much more challenging for you. I can plead guilty to make our first few months of marriage difficult for my husband. Although I know the saying that it takes two to tango, I also know that realization is a beautiful thing. Now, I don't claim to know the </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-family:arial;">anecdote</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> to making marriage work. I'm just saying that I think I'm finally on the right track. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">What gave me this unobstructed opportunity to think? A) Living with my husband, on our own, without the in-laws, or constant family interference. B) Learning how amazing a human being my husband truly is. C) Knowing that no matter what, this is a choice that I made, and that it is also up to me to make it work. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Marriage. It is like a diamond. The more you chip away the roughened and unnecessary edges, the clearer it gets, and the more invaluable it is. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">So, here's to a happy post and a happy day! (Note: I am happy despite having a fever, a runny nose, body pains, and a major sinus infection. That's what a great husband (and shopping!) can do for you when you feel like absolute turd!)</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-23501343618543754102009-11-19T10:25:00.010+05:302009-11-21T15:27:01.116+05:30Human courage<span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >Napoleon Bonaparte said, "</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Co<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">urage</span> isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength." Let us step back and think about courage. Introspect a little. After losing a loved one, how does one find the strength to wake up the next morning to face the emptiness? When a pet goes missing, how does one find the strength to walk home to home with the tiny hope that someone might have seen your precious pet? Even after there is no strength to get up and go on, how does one still find it in them to get up and move on? Would we call this courage? Is it innate? </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The best answer to this question can be illustrated by looking at a spouse who has lost their significant other. After over 50 years of living together, my friend's mother lost her 92 old husband to old age. Needless to say, the entire family was shattered at losing the man who imbibed in them the values that founded their very being. A man known to make women weak in their knees, known to command respect from people of all ages, and most importantly, known to love his family above all else. Through her period of mourning, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-family:arial;">Mami</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> (as my friend calls her mother) often wondered when her day would come. She could not imagine waking up in her bed every morning knowing that her husband's warm and loving embrace would be missing. But then weeks passed, and months... my friend visited </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" style="font-family:arial;">Mami</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> in their hometown over Christmas, nearly six months after her father's demise. A void clearly filled the room, making its way into the tensed laughter of all the family members. Before their arrival to Mami's house, no one felt </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" style="font-family:arial;">Mami</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> could handle her first Christmas without her husband. But her smiling, laughing, and tearing up with joy </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">pleasantly surprised</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> every single person in the room, and to see the strength that </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" style="font-family:arial;">exuberated</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> from her very core gave them hope. A strong woman, she came to terms with her life and her necessity to go on . I saw photos of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" style="font-family:arial;">Mami</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">and her family from </span><span style="font-family:arial;">their Christmas that year. She was glowing, happy as ever knowing that her entire family was with her. And although she had lost her husband, she took solace in the love her children and grand children and GREAT grand children showered up on her. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">This is human courage. The innate instinct to go on, to find strength where there is no hope, to find courage where this is no strength. I often wonder how I will react if, in 60 years, god forbid, I were to lose my husband. Would I have the courage to go on? I can't say I know, or that I want to find out. But people like </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" style="font-family:arial;">Mami</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> are living proof that human courage is a great thing, and the only thing that gives us that strength to keep on </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" style="font-family:arial;">truckin</span><span style="font-family:arial;">'.</span><br /></span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-79438489163610573992009-11-15T20:35:00.009+05:302009-11-16T08:25:58.702+05:30Flee<span style="font-family:arial;">The touch of a somber night</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">cutting deep through your soul</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">no starry skies</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">no moonlit shadows</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the silence scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The hollow beat of a heart</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">soft footsteps in the snow</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">no cacophony filled streets</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">no church bells announcing the hour</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the silence scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A sudden jerk in the air</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">shifting leaves around you</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">the instinct of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">another's</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> existence</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">so near, so far, a scent so familiar</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the silence scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A man around the corner</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">the silhouette you know so well</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">the curving of his back</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">the roughened edges of his fingers</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the beauty scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Forbidden love knocking at your door</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">passion that rekindles the forgotten fire</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">savouring the seconds of intimate </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-family:arial;">tremors</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">gripping you, accosting you, taking you away</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the union scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Rising next to this worldly wonder </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">chains that you will never break loose</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">time that passes slowly with caution</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">years that wipe away memories of passion</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does the familiarity scare you?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">does it make you want to flee? </span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-56291319060812922432009-11-12T22:41:00.005+05:302009-11-16T08:34:39.790+05:30Forever love?<span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >Marriage. Does it promise forever love? In an ideal world, we would all hope so. But the reality is far from it. About two years ago, I was talking to a co-worker about family and marriage. Her parents had divorced after being together for nearly 15 years. They were college sweethearts and had a very loving relationship. But why the divorce? She said that they merely fell out of love. A few years later, they both remarried other people and stayed the best of friends. How, in an ideal world, does this work? More importantly, why do people fall out love?<br />Is it lack of communication? Does the passion just die out? Infidelity? Domestic abuse? Financial stress? Or for no particular reason at all? The reasons could be endless.<br />Despite popular belief, statistics show that the divorce rate in the USA has decreased (3.7 in 2006, 3.5 in 2008) (See www.cdc.gov). At the same time, marriage rates have also decreased although there has been an increase in the country's population . More people are choosing to stay single or opt for live-in relationships. Even in a country like India, more women are getting married after their late twenties, if they marry at all. Commonly asked questions now are: what are the benefits of marriage? am I too independent to get married? will I be less happy if I choose to remain single? Is marriage the goal of life? If you stand strong long enough, family and societal pressure tends to wear off. They figure you to be a lost cause and move right along with their lives. In the future, country consensus reports have to provide for information on the number of single citizens in a country, the number of couples living together, the number married, and the number divorced. Mere analysis of the married or the divorced will fail to suffice. I guess this is bound to make life and the world more interesting.<br />All this said... do such radical changes in the world and in societies across the world bear witness to the truth that we are starting to become more tolerant and more understanding of individualism? And if we, as human beings, are learning to appreciate individuality and the freedom to choose and live on individual terms, is it so unfathomable that two individualistic and tolerant people can make a marriage work AND remain in love at the same time?<br />Finally... Keeping in the mind that not all marriages have 'The Notebook' ending, is it unrealistic, nonetheless, to strive for such a passion and satisfaction in marriage? Maybe we could learn a thing or two from Nicholas </span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" >Sparks's</span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" > books, for somehow they just seem to make love simple and love in marriage even simpler...</span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-45956496709087576372009-11-10T14:44:00.012+05:302009-11-16T08:32:01.939+05:30When was 'marriage' established?<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Despite being such a common institution across the world, it is almost impossible to find conclusive information on when exactly the concept of marriage or marrying came into being. Try looking for yourself... My first instinct told me to look for the origin of marriage or the history of marriage on Google. I was amazed to find that only ONE website could provide an approximate timeline on marriage and its many phases, predominantly in Western civilization. But the irony of it is, there is no information on what the institution of marriage used to be called before Roman times. The only thing that can be established, however, is that the concept of 'marriage', so to speak, existed before recorded history. In different cultures through the globe, marriage used to exist as a means for progeny and nurturing. Call it animal instinct if you should...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">The etymology of modern English marriage (ca. 1250-1300 C.E.): Marriage</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">was first derived from Latin </span><i style="font-family:arial;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">marītāre</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"> (to marry) and </span><i style="font-family:arial;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">marītus</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"> (of marriage), then from Old French </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">marier</span> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">(to marry), and finally from Middle English </span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">mariage</span>.<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" >Food for thought...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" >Consider all the ideas surrounding modern day marriage in your culture, in your family, in your immediate peer circle. Now imagine that all the rules and regulations -- the </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" >do's</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" > and </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" >dont's</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" >, the have </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" >to's</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" >, and the should </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" >do's</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-family:arial;" >, they are all predicated by us. Over the years... these are guidelines that we have imposed upon ourselves as means of being 'civilized.' But the real question here is, are we more civilized today than we were in the days when marriage was nothing but a simple union between two individuals who wanted to respond to their instincts? Or have we restricted the simplicity of this union to such extents that somewhere along the way we have lost the true beauty and joy of this universal relationship?</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">While I try to dig deeper and find more concrete information on marriage, here is the only solid information I could find online:</span><br /></span><h3 style="font-family: arial;"><br /></h3><h3 style="font-weight: normal;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1101marriageevolution01.html">The evolution of marriage: a timeline</a></span></h3><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Prehistoric - Marriage basically turns strangers into relatives, decreasing tribal tensions.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">3,000 B.C. - Marriage first becomes the way the upper classes conclude business deals and peace treaties, cementing </span></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" >socio</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">-political alliances. Ancient societies experiment with polygamy - and in the case of Egyptian royalty, incest among siblings - to forge strong bonds of civilization.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">500 B.C. - Short-lived experiment in democracy in ancient Greece actually worsens the status of women. Love is honored - but among men only. In marriage, inheritance is more important than emotional bonds: A woman whose father dies without male heirs can be forced to marry her nearest male relative, even if she has to divorce her husband first.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Circa A.D. 550 - Emperor Justinian tries to enact a requirement for a wedding license, but the unpopular measure is revoked. (He, meanwhile, managed to get a law passed that allowed him to marry a "penitent" former actress, Theodora ).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">A.D. 800 - Holy Roman Emperor Charlemagne outlaws polygamy. Germanic warlords, even baptized Christians, still acquire wives for strategic reasons.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">900 - The Roman Catholic Church tries to require people to obtain the church's blessing of sexual unions, but is reluctant to thereby create millions of "illegitimate" children whose parents don't obey the edict. The church, however, wins a battle by denying royalty the right to divorce on a whim.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1000 - Catholic clergy are no longer allowed to marry. Upper-class marriages are often arranged before the couple has met. Aristocrats believe love is incompatible with marriage and can flourish only in adultery.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1200 - Common folk in Europe now need a marriage license to wed. Ordinary people can't choose whom to marry, either. The lord of one manor decrees in 1344 that all his unmarried tenants - including the widowed - must marry spouses of his choosing. Elsewhere, peasants wishing to pick a partner must pay a fee.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1500-1600 - Protestant moralists elevate the status of marriage over the Catholic gold standard of celibacy, but enact even stricter controls over annulments.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1769 - The American colonies, basing their regulations on English common law, decree: "The very being and legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage, or at least is incorporated into that of her husband under whose wing and protection she performs everything."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1800 - Marriage for love, not for property or prestige, is gaining wider acceptance. But women are still completely subjected to male authority.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> 1874 - The South Carolina Supreme Court rules that men no longer may beat their wives.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> 1891 - England's Parliament passes a law that men cannot imprison their wives (or deny them freedom of movement from the home).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1900 - By now, every state in America has passed legislation modeled after New York's Married Women's Property Act of 1848, granting married women some control over their property and earnings.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1920s - The Roaring Twenties bring about the biggest sexual revolution in marriage to-date and divorce rates triple. The Supreme Court upholds people's right to marry someone of a different religion.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1965 - In Griswold v. Connecticut, the U.S. Supreme Court overturns one of the last state laws prohibiting the prescription or use of contraceptives by married couples. Seven years later, the right to use contraceptives is extended to unmarried people.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1967 - Interracial marriage is decriminalized in all states when the U.S. Supreme Court strikes down Virginia's anti-miscegenation statutes.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> 1968 - The Supreme Court upholds the rights of children of unmarried parents.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"> 1969 - California adopts the nation's first "no-fault" divorce law, allowing divorce by mutual consent.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1970s - Most states overturn rules designating a husband "head and master" with unilateral control of property owned jointly with his wife.</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Information from: <a href="http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1101marriageevolution01.html">A little perspective on marriage</a></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span></span></span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3667243646900064631.post-68256793725968239412009-11-09T22:30:00.004+05:302009-12-19T14:23:08.858+05:30What an auspicious day to start!<span style="font-family:arial;">Marriage. It changes everything you know as a person. It forces you to dig deep, muster strength, and nurture patience. But ever wonder... how did marriage come into existence? what does marriage mean? why do human beings strive to achieve a successful marriage as the ultimate goal? do we truly understand the purpose of marriage?<br />Many would say that marriage is a very individual experience. It is never the same for two people nor will it ever be. But the basic foundations of marriage will speak many languages to people from varying backgrounds and genders -- be it ethnic, financial, geographic, religious (or non), literate (or illiterate), and societal stature. So what is it about marriage that makes it common ground for people to relate? It was after my wedding and my first few months into marriage that I found myself asking these questions. And these few tumultuous months were the catalyst for this blog. A place where I hope to find myself in marriage, find reason where there are only doubts, and find peace in a union that will last a lifetime.<br />So keep reading... coz this blog will be a treat for all those married, single, committed, or in an it's complicated relationship status. You will relate to everything I write, and if you don't, you will be baffled by the things that marriage involves<br /><br />Note: My experiences are purely that of a woman raised in a very open and tolerant family environment, but living in a society that has little tolerance for most things in life. However, let me assure you that no matter how different our backgrounds are, we will without a doubt understand each other.<br /></span>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04893905447530343076noreply@blogger.com1